The Dating Trap

By Laurie

In my work as a wedding and Family consultant almost all of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first wedding, I made a decision that my job is to help people have successful unions and families, and I believed the only way to do that would be as a marriage advisor. Nonetheless what I discovered over time is that people sometimes make appointments with me when it's nearly too late ; they're on the verge of divorce or it could be a final resort, after there's been a lot of irrevocable damage done.
How relationships work and the way to have a successful Life Partnership have always been interesting puzzles to me. One thing's for certain ; times have changed and what used to work doesn't work anymore. The biggest change in the past thirty years impacting relations that I'll see is that we have developed a need to be "happy". This is a dramatic move in our folks and grandparents who were quite satisfied surviving and achieving some amount of comfort and security. The need for happiness sounds very simple and innocent, but it is's the main reason for failed relations today, and the high divorce rate, single parent families, mental and physical health Problems, juvenile delinquency, welfare, and such like.
While we attempt to be ecstatic in relations, we do not appear to learn how. As a result I've seen many of us make relationship selections and fall into traps that prevented them from getting what they want in their life, resulting in displeasure and relationship failure. A trap is essentially an unsolvable problem that results in disappointment in a relationship. Getting out of the trap often means leaving the relationship.
When you're single you can do a load more than you realize to avoid these traps and make preparations for a successful and lasting relationship but it takes work and honesty.
Believing that you do not want anyone's help in finding your Life Partner. You guage folk you meet for their relationship potential and don't take the opportunity to cultivate new buddies. Results in isolation, perception of insufficiency of possible partners, and chance of settling for rather less than what you really want because you don't want to be alone. This is only one of the pitfalls that many encounter.

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