Top Ten Blonde Jokes

By Andy Jill

The ´top blonde jokes below are from ´the book 100% Blonde Jokes܂ Check it out now for 100s of ´top blonde jokes܂

The Blonde Farmer A man is driving down a country road‚ when he spots a farmer standing in ´the middle of a huge field of grass܂ Of course the farmer is a blonde܂ He pulls ´the car over ´to ´the side of the road and notices ´that ´the farmer is just standing ´there‚ doing nothing‚ looking at nothing܂ The man gets out of ´the car‚ walks all ´the way out ´to ´the farmer and asks him‚ "Ah excuse me mister‚ but what are you doing?" The farmer replies‚ "I´m ´trying ´to win a Nobel Prize܂" "How?" asks ´the man‚ puzzled܂ "Well‚ I heard ´they give ´the Nobel Prize ´to people who are out standing in ´their field!"

Ventriloquist A young ventriloquist is ´touring ´the clubs and one night he´s doing a show in a small ´town in Arkansas܂ With his dummy on his knee‚ he starts going ´through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in ´the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I´ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes܂ What makes you ´think you can stereotype women ´that way? What does ´the color of a person´s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It´s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person܂ Because you and your kind continue ´to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes‚ but women in general‚ and all in ´the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins ´to apologize‚ and ´the blonde yells‚ "You stay out of ´this‚ mister! I´m ´talking ´to ´that little shit on your knee܂"

Buying Drinks at a Bar A blonde‚ a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from ´the bartender܂ Brunette: "I´ll have a B and C܂" Bartender:"What is a B and C?"܂ Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke܂" Redhead: "And‚ I´ll have a G and T܂" Bartender: "What´s a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and ´tonic܂" Blonde: "I´ll have a 15܂" Bartender: "What´s a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7"

Only Three Doors An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess܂ The route ´they were flying had a layover in another city܂ Upon ´their arrival‚ ´the captain showed ´the stewardess ´the best place for airline personnel to eat‚ shop and stay overnight܂ The next morning‚ as ´the pilot was preparing ´the crew for ´the day´s route‚ he noticed the new stewardess was missing܂ He knew which room she was in at ´the hotel and called her up wondering what happened܂ She answered ´the phone‚ crying‚ and said she couldn´t get out of her room܂ "You can´t get out of your room?" ´the captain asked‚ "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only ´three doors in here‚" she sobbed‚ "one is ´the bathroom‚ one is ´the closet‚ and one has a sign on it ´that says ´Do Not Disturb´!"

One Wish To Each Three blondes were walking ´through ´the desert when ´they found a magic genie´s lamp܂ After rubbing ´the lamp ´to make ´the genie appear‚ he said‚ "I will grant ´three wishes‚ one for each of you܂" The first said‚ "I wish I were smarter܂" So‚ she became a redhead܂ The second blonde said‚ "I wish I were smarter ´than she is܂" She became a brunette܂ The ´third blond ordered‚ "I wish I were smarter ´than both of ´them!" So‚ she became a man܂

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