Proverbs of the Wise, the Vicious, and the Fairly Desperate

 
     
  By Brian Jones
 
   
     
  Surviving life makes us wise, makes us laugh, and makes us care more for other people who are going through the same things that made us panic or thrilled. Life makes us mourn for those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. There were times when a situation dawns for us wisdoms in a nutshell, taking us through a predicament; sometimes, people wiser than us grant us a proverbial helping hand that guides us through life. But as life passes, though we tend to forget the pain of a difficult situation, the joy and hope breathed in us by an encouragement stays with us forever.

Here are some of life's most beautiful wisdoms wrapped in sincerity; and some coated with a little sour and bitter sarcasm that are, when braved through a little endurance, ain't actually not that bad! Or, at least funny enough to keep us laughing till we get to the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

On beauty: Beauty's only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone. Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it (Confucius). A thing of beauty is a joy forever (Keats). What strange illusion it is suppose that beauty is goodness (Tolstoy). Beauty is its own excuse for being. Beauty is the virtue of the body, as virtue is the beauty of the soul (Emerson). Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait (Emerson). It is a misfortune to be too handsome a man (Plautus). You must learn to live with the cards you have been dealt with. No one blames a man for being ugly (Aristotle). On gracious, why wasn't I born old and ugly (Dickens)? A cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful, and wit good-natured (Addison). A cheerful look makes a dish a feast (G. Herbert).

On wealth, money, and poverty: We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it (Shaw). Monetary joy breeds months of pain (Shakespeare). He has acquired a fortune; fortune has acquired him. He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent (The Bible). He that has no credit has no debts (Middleton). Creditors have better memories than debtors (Franklin). Debt is the worst poverty (Fuller). Debt is a prolific mother of folly and crime (Disraeli). Poverty is not a vice, but an inconvenience (Glorio). No man's fortune can be an end and worth of his being (Bacon). Knowledge makes one laugh, but wealth makes one dance (G. Herbert). It is better to live rich than to die rich (Johnson). The man who dies rich dies disgraced (Carnegie). Fortune favors the brave. Fortune favors fools. Fortune knocks once at every man's door.

Sarcasm and some scientific principles: If anything can go wrong, it will (Murphy's Law). An object will fall so as to do the most damage (Law of Selective Gravity). For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of (Maier's Law). Whoever has the gold makes the rules (The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences). Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out (Hoare's Law of Large Proportions). A man with one watch knows that time it is. A man with two watches is never sure (Segal's Law). Necessity is the mother of all invention. Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows. As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens. Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results (Nonreciprocal Laws of Expectation). There's no such thing as luck, except bad luck.



 
   
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