Are You a Member of the Sandwich Generation?

By Janine Sanderstine

Both your children and your parents need your hope, and sometimes you feel like you´re in the middle.

On one hand, you´re an active mother, sometimes referred to as soccer Mom. You do whatever it takes, working a full time job, bringing forgotten lunches to school, and driving your children and their friends to all their activities.This is what you always wanted for yourself, and now you have it. Certainly it can be challenging, but this is what you signed up for and you are prepared.

Now, suddenly you find that your parents need your help and are showing signs of their advancing age. Perhaps they are no longer able to drive safely. Or maybe they are no longer able to clean their home or do the yard work. Somehow, you didn´t think this would happen. Well, maybe you knew it might happen eventually, but surely not so soon.How will you balance all the demands on your time? Certainly nobody can be in two places at the same time, so how will you mange?

First, recognize that fact that you can´t be everything to everyone at all times. Plan for the quality time you need with your own family as well as quality time with your parents. What´s left to be done now is to determine the needs of your children and your parents and consider what resources are available to you. One possibility might be to obtain some child care for your children, freeing you up to spend more time with Mom and Dad. However, think what you´d be giving up. Children grow up so quickly, and you hate to miss even a minute of the process.

Would it be possible to get help for Mom and Dad, so that you are not the only one trying to provide the help they need? If your parents have extended family, perhaps there are others that can get involved. Sharing the responsibility with siblings or other family members could be just what´s needed.If the budget will allow, you could consider hiring professionals to lighten the load. You could hire an aide or companion to check on them, do light housekeeping and cooking, and give them some companionship.

If Mom and Dad require even more assistance, perhaps it´s time to consider a more drastic approach. If they´re living in a home that requires maintenance, perhaps a move to a condominium or apartment might be helpful as gardening and home maintenance would be provided.

It might be time to consider assisted living, where housekeeping and laundry services are provided, meals are served in the dining room, and there are numerous activities and outings for them to enjoy. There would also be the added security of caregivers on staff, should they be needed. Seniors in assisted living facilities have the option of living independently, yet they can request additional services, such as assistance with bathing and dressing if it becomes necessary.

Yes, you are sandwiched between your children and you parents. You shouldn´t have to choose, you love them both. Make the necessary plans now to ensure the well-being of your parents and your children, while allowing yourself to enjoy the loving moments with both.

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About The Author
Want to find out more about assisted living facilites in your state, then visit Janine Sanderstine's site. For California, visit assisted living facilities in Orange County to learn more about the facilities available.